Ask The Warriors!
by xxfalling.failingxx
Summary: Ask The Warriors! is a show where you, the readers, ask any cat any question. Rated T for minor language and violence.
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to Ask The Warriors! You can ask any warrior any question and I'll try and make it as funny as possible. I'll also turn the questions into a tiny story. Here's the beginning.**

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"Hello and welcome to Ask The Warriors! I'm Rosebark, your host. And here's the dealio. You, the reviewers and audience, can ask any cat any question. You can also ask me or my mate Eagletail questions, too. For today's episode, we have a question from Cinderpelt. Cinderpelt, go to the back of the room and say your question into the microphone."

Cinderpelt tapped on the microphone. "Is this show going to be awesome?"

"YES!" cried everyone in the audience. Rosebark turned back to the camera. "Remember, no reviews, no show, so review away! See you later!"

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 **MINI STORY!**

 **Once upon a time, Redkit lived in Redclan with his Mother Redfur. Redkit became an apprentice. Now known as Redpaw, he jumped. Redpaw was happy.**

* * *

 **Also, would you like to PM me instead of reviews? I personally like reviews, because it allows guests to ask questions! But what do YOU want?**

 ** _-Rosebark_**


	2. Chapter 2

**YAY! I've got eleven reviews and sixteen questions! Cookies at the end for anyone who left a question! Here's the episode.**

"Hello and welcome to Ask The Warriors! I'm Rosebaark, and this is Eagletail, and we're your hosts! Today we have eighteen questions! Everyone give a paw for TheLentilKittehOfRandomness, OMGitzTINA XD, SpiderlegHate, darkwolf190, RosebarkLOVER, EagleXRose Love, and 42 q!" Rosebark said with a smile. A pink sign above the stage lit up and flashed 'APPLAUSE'. The cats in the audience clapped and cheered.

"Alright," Eagletail purred. "The first question is from TheLentilKittehOfRandomness, and it's for Jayfeather! Jayfeather, please go to the microphone in the back."

Jayfeather cursed and her tripped up the stairs leading to the microphone.

"JAYFEATHER! WE CAN'T SENSOR A LIVE AUDIENCE! AND WOULD YOU STAND STILL FOR STARCLAN'S SAKE!" Rosebark yelled to the blind cat. Jayfeather begrudingly stood still.

"Thanks. And sorry about my yelling. I'm a hot-head. Okay, your question Jayfeather!" Rosebark announced.

Jayfeather: Who do you love most: Half Moon, Briarlight or Stick?

"Alright, Jayfeather! What is your answer?" Rosebark said with a giggle. Jayfeather was kissing Stick.

"What? Could you repeat that? Stick and I were having a make-out session." Jayfeather asked and looked lovingly at the Stick. The pink sign flashed 'EWWW' so the crowd ewww'd.

"Uh, the answer is very clear, Jayfeather. You can take your seat." Eagletail said, looking sick.

"But I don't know what the question was!" Jayfeather protested. Rosebark glared at the blind tom and pointed to his seat. Jayfeather sighed and tripped down the stairs.

"Okay, next question is from OMGitzTINA XD! The next two questions, actually." Rosebark said with a smile. "Please welcome Squirrelflight to the microphone!"

Squirrelflight stood up and started up the stairs. She smiled and waved to the audience as they screamed for her. The ginger she-cat tapped the microphone and nodded to Rosebark.

"Alright! Here's your question!" Rosebark purred.

Squirrelflight, how do you feel about Bramblestar and Jessy falling in love?

"Well," Squirrelflight coughed. "Good question! Um... at first, I hated Bramblestar, so I didn't care much. But overtime, I became more and more jelous of that stuck up bi-"

"SQUIRRELFLIGHT! WE CAN'T SENSOR A LIVE AUDIENCE!" Rosebark yelled. She took a deep breath and put her head in her paws. Eagletail quickly touched his nose to hers, and continued the show.

"You can take your seat, Squirrelflight." he told the ginger she-cat. Squirrelflight nodded and padded down the stairs.

"Okay, OMGitzTINA XD's last question is for Nightcloud, Leafpool and Feathertail! Come on down to the microphone, ladies."

Leafpool blew kisses to the audience and started walking up the stairs. Nightcloud pushed Leafpool out of the way and ran up to the microphone.

"Hi everyone! I bet OMGitzTINA XD's question is about how beautiful I am, right?" Nightcloud purred and fluffed her fur. Leafpool shoved Nightcloud aside.

"No way, I'm the beautiful one!" she hissed. Nightcloud and Leafpool got into a girly slap fight. Feathertail pulled them apart.

"Girls, girls, you're both pretty. But I'm pretty sure we all know _I'm_ the beautiful one!" Feathertail pointed out confidently. Nightcloud and Leafpool stopped slapping each other and started smacking Feathertail.

"LADIES! YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN!" Rosebark roared.

"Really?" Nightcloud hissed into the microphone. "I'm pretty sure YOU need to calm down!"

Rosebark dragged her stool over to where she was standing and sat with her head in her paws. Eagletail put his paw on Rosebark's back.

"Anyways, here's your question."

Okay, um, out of the 3 of you, who do you think Crowfeather loves most? FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT! :D

The three she-cats went pale.

"Well, obvoiusly, me!" they all said at the same time. "No, me!" they all said again.

"No! ME!" Leafpool screamed.

"Noooooo! He loves ME!" Nightcloud screamed back.

"You two are dumb! He loved me first!" Feathertail hissed.

"You didn't have his kits!" Leafpool pointed out. Nightcloud nodded to her and they both shoved Feathertail down the stairs.

"BRAMBLESTAR!" Rosebark yelled. The tabby tom threw open the auditorium doors.

"HALT!" he said rather loudly and blew his police whistle. Leafpool tackled Nightcloud and they rolled around on the ground in a giant ball of black and brunette fur. Bramblestar ran up the stairs and pulled the fighting she-cats apart. He could hold them both three feet off the ground, Leafpool in one paw and Nightcloud in the other. They still tried to kill each other, and Bramblestar used his tail to smack them on the head with a rolled up newspaper.

"Hey!" Leafpool whined.

"You're coming with me..." Bramblestar sighed.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Nightcloud screamed. "I'm too pretty to go to jail!"

"Don't worry; you're not going to jail. I'm not a cop. I'm just the security guard." Bramblestar said.

"Oh, are you taking me to the spa?" Nightcloud asked and batted her eyelashes.

"No. I'm taking you out back to the dumpster where you two can fight freely and not interrupt the show." Bramblestar told the vain she-cat.

Nighcloud opened her mouth in protest, but just shrugged.

"Fair enough." she said. Bramblestar started down the stairs, and the crowd cheered. He nodded to the audience and left the auditorium.

"How sad. We'll never know the answer. At least OMGitzTINA XD got the fighting part." Eagletail said with a shrug.

"This question is from SpiderlegHate, a guest. So... you guessed it... Spiderleg, head on up to the microphone!"

Spiderleg gulped and stumbled up the stairs, his long limbs getting in the way. He tapped on the mic and cleared his throat.

"Okay, Spiderleg! Your question."

Spiderleg, why did you dump Daisy after she had your kits?

Spiderleg gulped.

"Uh... erm... it's because... no... NOT ANSWERING!" Spiderleg said quickly. He screamed like a little girl and ran away out of the auditorium.

"Bramblestar, whacko heading your way." Rosebark said into her walkie-talkie.

"Alwright! This question if from darkwolf190, and it's for Scoruge!" Eagletail cheered. "So Scoruge, please hurry to the mic as we have only ten minutes left."

Scourge ran up the the microphone. He nodded to the two hosts on stage.

"Here's your question, Scoruge."

Okay this question is for Scoruge was killing Tigerstar worth being as good as dead and since you're dead and he is dead do you still try and kill each other in the Dark Forest?

"Weh-heh-ell! Great question, darkwolf190. Yes, killing Tigerstar was totally worth it. And, I nearly killed Tigerstar again last night." Scoruge replied, looking at his razor sharp claws.

"Okay, Scourge! I hope darkwolf190 is satisfied with your answer. Now, please look out for the boxing glove." Rosebark purred.

"Boxing glove?" Scourge said, sounding confused. A hidden panel opened up in the wall, and a giant redboxing glove hit Scoruge in the back and he fell down the stairs.

"Okay! And these next... nine, ten, eleven... eleven questions are from 42 q, a guest! When I call your name, please make a formal singe-file line leading up to the stairs. Okay... Longtail, Jayfeather, Cinderpelt, Rock, Graystripe, Ravenpaw, Daisy, Ashfur, Yellowfang, Berrynose and lastly, Lionblaze! Alright, let's see that line!" Rosebark cheered.

"Okay, Longtail, here's your question."

Longtail: Do you know how pathetically you were blinded? By a bunny! Oi caramba...

"Yes, I do. It's called karma, I believe. I sided with Tigerstar, and I got blinded. By a bunny. Oi caramba..." Longtail sighed. He quickly made his way back to his seat, not wanting to get punched by the boxing glove.

"Okay, Jayfeather. Your question!" Eagletail said.

Jayfeather: Kestrelflight, Briarlight, Senpai-Stick, Lionblaze, or Breezepelt? Choose...

"JAYFEATHER! PUT THAT STICK DOWN!" Rosebark shouted and covered her eyes. The boxing glove punched Jayfeather and Stick down the stairs.

"Cinderpelt, this is for you." Rosebark said calmly as if her outburst hadn't happened.

Cinderpelt: Shall we start a Badgers Are Evil club?

"Yes please!" Cinderpelt chirped. She then hobbled down the stairs.

"Okay, Rock! This isn't actually a question..." Eagletail sighed and looked down at an imaginary watch.

Rock: You ugly.

"Since the dawn of times have I never been so highly insulted!" he yelled and vanished into thin air.

"Huh. Well, Graystripe. This one's for you." Rosebark yawned.

Graystripe: I think you're the Leo of this group.

"Why, thank you!" Graystripe purred and tipped and imaginary hat to 42 q. He ran down the stairs and sat back down in his seat.

"Ravenpaw." Rosebark said plainly.

Ravenpaw: Can I please please please hug you? You're sooo adore! X3

"YAAAAAAAAYYYYY! HUGS FOR EVERYONE! IMA TRACK YOU DOWN AND HUG YOU FOREVER!" Ravenpaw screamed and ran out of the auditorium.

"Bramblestar, hug crazed maniac coming your way." Rosebark said into the walkie talkie.

"Okay. I'll look out fo- AGGGHHHHH! WHY IS HE HUGGING ME?!" Bramblestar yowled. A faint "Are you 42 q?" could be heard in the background. Rosebark laughed.

"Daisy, you're not going to like this..." Eagletail gulped.

Daisy: You fat.

"I am not fat!" she growled and leapt at Eagletail.

"BRAMBLESTAR!" Rosebark yelled into the walkie talkie. Bramblestar threw open the auditorium doors and raced over to the stage. A very clingy Ravenpaw was hugging his leg. Bramblestar grabbed Daisy and probably threw her into the dumpster with Leafpool and Nightcloud.

"Uh... Ashfur. Here's your question." Rosebark said and hugged Eagletail.

Ashfur: Why aren't you in the Dark Forest where you belong?

" _I_ belong in the Dark Forest? Hollyleaf's the one who killed me! Yada yada yada blah blah blah..." Ashfur yammered. The boxing glove punched him down the stairs.

"Yellowfang, your question." Eagletail yawned.

Yellowfang: WHY DID YOU LET ASHFUR GO TO STARCLAN WHY WHY WHY WHY?!

"The real question is why did I let Hollyleaf go to Starclan." Yellowfang said simply and walked down the stairs.

"Berrynose and Lionblaze! I'm doing both your questions at once becaussssss..." Rosebark said drowsily and fell asleep.

Berrynose: If Poppyfrost dies, and you go after Cinderheart...oh ho ho...you are so dead.  
Lionblaze: BERRYNOSE IS FLIRTING WITH CINDERHEART!

"Maybe I will go after Cinderheart..."Berrynose murmured even though Lionblaze was standing right next to him.

"YOU ARE SO DEAD!" Lionblaze roared. He grabbed Berrynose and flung him down the stairs.

"Well, it's midnight now and I'm too tired to stop this fight. So, see you tomorrow on Ask The Warriors!" Eagletail cheered sleepily.

 **ITZ COOKIE TIME!**

 **TheLentilKittehOfRandomness: (::)**

 **OMGitzTINA XD: (::) (::)**

 **SpiderlegHate: (::)**

 **darkwolf190: (::)**

 **42 q: (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::)**

 **Obviously, the top reviewer is 42 q! YAY! Now, don't forget to ask some questions! No questions, no show! And you don't want no show. Mostly because Rosebark will get you ;3**


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